Somebody told me youâ??d found new bonhomie
Going places youâ??d never go with me
I felt myself become a bitter old shrew
Oh, Iâ??d have bitten you in two if you would let me

Iâ??d look deadly as a nun
Martyrdom does not become me
Iâ??ll find love in vanity
Somebody told me youâ??d found places to go
New people to know, new ladies and so
I felt myself become a bitter old shrew
Iâ??d have bitten her in two if you would let me

So if I donâ??t laugh what do I do?
If I donâ??t laugh and see this through
I shouldnâ??t even think of you
Allow me one extravagance
Before they come and ban me
And let me shoot the messenger

So help me God they talk so much
This knowledge ainâ??t my business
But I hang on his every word
God speed his journey back to Hell
I might retreat singing
But all I hear is you
Just give me one more shot of gin
Iâ??ll scream along to anything
Just let me shoot the messenger